"Hamburger: The Motion Picture" (1986)

It's time for Fat Freddy's Totally Random Post of the Day....



Please tell me that I'm not the only one who remembers and loves this trashy '80s sex comedy set at a McDonald's-style training school. This is one of my favorite "good" bad movies (second only to "Howard the Duck") and it's a travesty that it's so unrecognized.

I mean, talk about brilliant casting!! You've got Dick Butkus in the greatest acting role of his career (totally blowing away his performance in the "Blue Thunder" TV series), the guy who played Joyce Hyser's preppie jerk boyfriend in "Just One Of The Guys," the fat dude who later went on to play "Tinker" in "Road House" ("a polar bear fell on me"), and a hot latin chick from a fictional South American country called "Guacamole," ...those are just some of the hilarious misfits who are attending Buster Burger University to learn how to run a fast food franchise. It's got songs ("Glory Busterburger-luia!"), tons of quotable one liners ("Fuck off pickle! I don't like talking to machines!"), endless bad burger-related puns, and fart jokes galore. If I had written a movie when I was thirteen years old, it would've been this movie.

How can you not love a movie where an entire fast food front end crew tells a cute little girl, "PUT THOSE COOKIES BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!" in unison? Seriously, watch these clips and tell me that this isn't the greatest movie you've ever seen in your life.







Tragically, "Hamburger: The Motion Picture" has yet to be officially released on DVD. I have found it for sale in some online catalogs but it's always been a DVD-R copy that somebody has ripped from an old VHS tape. It is a travesty in my opinion that this masterpiece of beef-related celluloid drama is lost to the ages.

I still have a VHS copy of "Hamburger" that I taped off of HBO probably twenty years ago now, which surprisingly is still in pretty good shape considering its age. For most of the 1990s my buddy Glenn and I would get together two or three times a year, pick up a couple of 12-packs, watch this movie, and laugh our freakin' asses off. Quite simply, "Hamburger: The Motion Picture" is a must see.

Thank you for reading my blather and I hope you enjoyed this little taste of the glory that is Buster Burger University.

Another thought... I gotta give mad props to Dick Butkus. Not only is he the heart and soul of the film "Hamburger" but he deserves a salute merely for surviving a career in the NFL and a stint in Hollywood with a name like "Dick Butkus." It must've been tough to get respect in both of those lines of work with a name that would be better suited for a gay porn actor. Good Lord, what was he thinking? Bad enough that your last name is pronounced "Butt-Kiss," but then to be saddled with a first name like "Dick" besides... geez, I would've spent my whole life asking people "Please call me Richard" if I were him.

Great movie! Thanks for the clips ! I havent seen that move in a long time. Although, if were talking favorited comedies of the 80's it comes in second to Jekyll And Hyde...Together Again for me

Sweet fancy Moses!! Boy, do I remember this movie. Movies like this one were some of the finest introductions to boobies that a young MetalBoy71 remembers. Sneaking downstairs to watch Skin-emax late at night with the sound turned wayyyyy down low.

Pfft. These kids today don't know how lucky they are to have limitless access to porn on the internet. Back in my day, we were happy to see a 2 second flash of titty in some horrible movie.

MetalGuy71 wrote:

Pfft. These kids today don't know how lucky they are to have limitless access to porn on the internet. Back in my day, we were happy to see a 2 second flash of titty in some horrible movie.

Back in the day I always envied the kids whose Dads were willing to pay extra for the Playboy Channel. Lucky bastards.

I remember this movie.Its been a long time since seeing it.I love this kind of 80's cheese.Another one worth mentioning that some of you may remember-Porkys!

I'm a bit younger than you old timers here, so Porky's III is the one I remember vividly to this day. Particularly when the blonde girl in the graduation gown zips down the front and is nude. Damn those were the days.

I remember watching Revenge of the Nerds when I was in 8th (?) grade and seeing pubic hair for the 1st time. "We've got bush!"

MetalGuy71 wrote:

I remember watching Revenge of the Nerds when I was in 8th (?) grade and seeing pubic hair for the 1st time. "We've got bush!"

Yep. I have that memory as well.

spectrefate wrote:

I'm a bit younger than you old timers here, so Porky's III is the one I remember vividly to this day. Particularly when the blonde girl in the graduation gown zips down the front and is nude. Damn those were the days.

Porky's III is the best movie of the "trilogy." I still use Porky's "Great gallopin' gobs of goat shit!" line at least once a week.

BTW Spec, that blonde's name is Kimberly Evenson. She was a Playboy Playmate in 1984 (the year before Porky's III was released). I had, ahem, "borrowed" my Dad's copy of the Playboy ish with her centerfold out of the recycling pile when he was done with it (my bro and I amassed a pretty decent "library"over time using that method) and as soon as I saw her I fell instantly in love. When Porky's III came to HBO, you know DAMN well I watched that mofo about a dozen times. I was OBSESSED wit'de woman!!

If I can find a pic of her, she's definitely going in the "Babes from the 80s" thread. Too bad her movie career never took off. I think "Porky's III" may have been her one and only film. Wherefore art thou, Kimberly?

Fat Freddy wrote:

If I can find a pic of her, she's definitely going in the "Babes from the 80s" thread.

Done and done. Thank you, Google Image Search!

I found Kimmy's Playboy cover!



Mmmm bwah, that brings back memories. Wish I still had this mag!! Google Image Search found some pix from her centerfold spread, but there was nothing else I could post without violating NSFW rules. Feel free to seek her out yourselves, just make sure the "safe search" is turned "off' or you won't get the good stuff.

Fat Freddy wrote:

spectrefate wrote:

I'm a bit younger than you old timers here, so Porky's III is the one I remember vividly to this day. Particularly when the blonde girl in the graduation gown zips down the front and is nude. Damn those were the days.

Porky's III is the best movie of the "trilogy." I still use Porky's "Great gallopin' gobs of goat shit!" line at least once a week.

BTW Spec, that blonde's name is Kimberly Evenson. She was a Playboy Playmate in 1984 (the year before Porky's III was released). I had, ahem, "borrowed" my Dad's copy of the Playboy ish with her centerfold out of the recycling pile when he was done with it (my bro and I amassed a pretty decent "library"over time using that method) and as soon as I saw her I fell instantly in love. When Porky's III came to HBO, you know DAMN well I watched that mofo about a dozen times. I was OBSESSED wit'de woman!!

If I can find a pic of her, she's definitely going in the "Babes from the 80s" thread. Too bad her movie career never took off. I think "Porky's III" may have been her one and only film. Wherefore art thou, Kimberly?

I'm thinking back and I can't for the life of me remember anything from that movie. I'm beginning to wonder if I've even seen it? Was part 3 Porky's Revenge?

Quote :

Was part 3 Porky's Revenge?

Yep, that's it.

spectrefate wrote:

Quote :

Was part 3 Porky's Revenge?

Yep, that's it.

Hmmmm, I'm pretty sure I must've seen it at some point, but I sure a shit don't remember anything from it. I'll put that on my list of "movies-that-I-need-to-watch-but-never-have-the-time-or-the-effort-to-go-out-and-rent". It's a pretty big list.

Quote :

Feel free to seek her out yourselves, just make sure the "safe search" is turned "off' or you won't get the good stuff.

I'll be sure to Google her later. *wink, wink*