THE MENTORS

Who here besides me loves these alcoholic porn-rock scuzz bags? The above album (1985's YOU AXED FOR IT) is a top 20 of all time for me, easy. I first heard this band when I was fifteen years old and they completely knocked me on my ass. I used to listen to a college radio show called "Hellhole" on WNYU-FM (the campus station of New York University) and they played all the best of then-current thrash/hardcore/punk. Apparently someone high up in the NYU ivory tower didn't approve of many of the records they played so the show was cancelled. During their last show, the "Hellhole" crew put forth an absolutely brilliant display of sticking it to THE MAN, they threw all laws of broadcasting completely out the window. There were inebriated guests all over the studio slurring and swearing into the microphone, constant F-Bombs being dropped, and they packed as many profane songs into that last 90 minutes as possible. The cherry on top was when they played the exceedingly foul "Four F Club" ("Find her, feel her, fuck her, forget her!") off of this album before they signed off. I swear to you people, my brother and I laughed so hard we nearly broke all our furniture. I wish I still had a tape of that final "Hellhole" episode, Lord only knows what other offensive tracks they played that night, but the Mentors scarred me for life right then and there. My bro and I pooled our allowance money and bought the YOU AXED FOR IT tape as soon as we could after hearing that song, then we played it til it resembled a burnt piece of toast. In addition to the aforementioned "Four F Club," we jammed out endlessly to tracks like "Golden Showers," "Sandwich of Love," and "Clap Queen." To this day I can quote every lyric on this thing chapter and verse. My friends and I used to joke about forming a Mentors tribute band, just for one gig, so we could go onstage drunk as skunks, hit on everyone's girlfriends, pee on the audience, and get away with it cuz we'd be wearing the trademark black executioner's hoods over our faces so nobody would know who we were.

Lead vocalist and drummer Eldon "El Duce" Hoke died in 1997 when he was hit by a train as he walked along some railroad tracks (supposedly in a state of complete inebriation, which was how he spent most of his time), though there are conspiracy theorists who believe that Courtney Love (!) had him bumped off. El apparently told some people after Kurt Cobain died that Courtney had approached him and offered him ten grand to kill Kurt for her. He refused (or so he said) and Kurt died a short time later. Guitarist Steve "Dr. Heathen Scum" Broy reformed a new Mentors lineup earlier in this decade with a new singer, who did a pretty decent impression of El Duce, but it just wasn't the same. But YOU AXED FOR IT will live on in my collection forever!!

Funniest lyric of all time:

Come and smell my anal vapors/Your Face is my toilet paper

El Duce vs. Outraged Mother

You got admire how shameless Jerry Springer is, as Alice once said 'There is no such thing as bad taste anymore'

If anyone is curious there are a bunch of Mentors releases available on CDBaby.

http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=the+mentors&submit=

Love The Mentors, You Axed For It and Up The Dose are both must haves. Because Heterosexuals have the right to rock!

SpectreFate wrote:

El Duce vs. Outraged Mother

Classic! I used to have this episode on tape... GWAR were also on it, along with a kid who was a huge GWAR fan and his worried mother. After Duce's segment they brought GWAR out and in the course of the interview with the band and the kid (who was maybe 10 years old, tops) he said he loved GWAR because he knew their lyrics were silly and fake. Then he pointed to El Duce and said "Not like that guy over there, he's just an idiot."

Looks like the Mentors have been reborn again, sorta... the replacement El Duce has apparently started his own band, "The Mantors" (note the "a"), black hoods and all, and has released an album called "Lust Muscle" --- sounds a little more thrashy than the Mentors were, but the same 'tude. Love the album cover too, a parody of KISS "Love Gun"

The most high-concept album cover ever, right here.

Bump

Let's all join the Four F Club!

THERE SHE IS! IT'S THAT BIG UGLY AIRHEAD! SCUM BAG!
WHAT DO WE DO MEN???

"It's the sandwich of love
One below and one above
In the sandwich of love
Thrusting and bouncing
She hasn't been laid in days
Now she's covered in mayonnaise
She's the woman with no soul
She's got a guy in every hole"

Sheer poetry!!

Well, if we didnt have El Duce, we wouldnt have any modern poetry

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

Fat Freddy wrote:

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

AHAHAHAHA! Thats the best news story Ive ever seen!

And just in case any of you missed it over at H.O.M., here's Spec's latest beaut of a creation.



Too bad this doesn't really exist... I would finally have an excuse to buy a Wii or an XBox...